Monday, October 03, 2005

Ground Control?

More like Major Tom floating around in space.

My life is a farce.

I'm not living where I want to live ~ I'm not living with the person I want to live with ~ I'm not doing what I want to do.

So change it? Can't. I'm a big one for saying everyone has choices but you can only choose to a certain point. Some things are just out of our hands and there isn't a damn thing we can do about them no matter how much we want to.

What do I see for the future? More of the same. Waking up every day, going through the motions like a robot, smiling and saying fine thanks when asked how I am ... occasionally the bubbling volcano inside erupting, but for the most part, dying inside a little more with each passing day.

11 Comments:

Blogger Atomic Bombshell said...

There must be something you can do to affect some positive changes in your life... Even if it's only what you can do on the INSIDE. Wishing you better days.

12:02 pm  
Blogger Derek Rydall said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:03 pm  
Blogger Seamus said...

Aw Mushy ~ I have such empathy/sympathy for you. I have many days with similar feelings. *hugs* and an ear if ya need it. :)

1:49 pm  
Blogger Mushster said...

Atomic ~ Yes you're right and I have tried to make some changes in that regard but even still, I find it's only a mask that covers what's really underneath.

I know it sounds very negative but I am thankful for some things.

Thanks for stopping by and commenting :)

Seamy ~ sigh, an ear could very well lead to a very wet shoulder. Wanna take off to Hawaii for a while? lol

3:59 pm  
Blogger Quiet Man said...

You're obviously in a tough spot right now. But many have been there before you and come through, and you will too.

Just one thing - never, EVER, say to yourself that things can't get worse!

Take care :)

QM

9:17 pm  
Blogger halo said...

I remember those feelings all to well Mush Babe. Im here if you ever just wanna vent.

Hugs and love

11:10 pm  
Blogger Flygirl said...

dying inside a little bit at a time?

I've been there too.

I'm here holdin your hand and listening.

9:55 am  
Blogger Mushster said...

QM ~ Yeah I've been here before too and I know it can get a hell of a lot worse. Thanks :)

Hugs Musey ~ I know you get it xxx

Fly ~ Sometimes I wonder who I'll be at the end of it all, if there'll be anything left of 'me', whoever that is these days. I guess all we can do is hang on to the hope of 'one day' ...

Hugs sweetfly xx

2:18 pm  
Blogger Edge said...

deep breath and hanging on, that's important stuff....life can change so fast in either direction.....hang baby hang

9:02 pm  
Blogger Firehawk said...

Mush,

Too bad we can't revise the things we need when it's clear we can't get them...

2:33 am  
Blogger Mushster said...

I'm hangin' Edge, I'm hangin'

Firehawk ~ I suppose it feels like giving up if we do that and even when we do, there's still that little trace of hope underneath.

4:03 pm  

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